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Charge Forward Podcast
The Charge Forward Podcast: Dedicated to those who choose to Charge Forward into the Storm when hit with challenges. This is what makes them different and has lead to their success. When in doubt.... Charge Forward!
Charge Forward Podcast
The Cost of Opportunity: Dr. Rolly Lagutin’s Journey of Sacrifice and Love
The Cost of Opportunity: Dr. Rolly Lagutin’s Journey of Sacrifice and Love
What would you sacrifice to secure a better future for your family?
In this deeply moving episode, we honor the extraordinary legacy of Dr. Rolly Lagutin (1950–2024), a man who made an unparalleled sacrifice to transform his family’s destiny. Through the heartfelt perspective of his son, we journey through the remarkable story of a doctor in the Philippines who gave up his esteemed career to move his family to America.
Dr. Lagutin’s decision came with immense challenges. Leaving behind family and even a child for a few years, he started over as a shoeshiner to make ends meet while working tirelessly to go back through Medical School. He did this to restore his career as a doctor here in the USA. His unwavering determination, selflessness, and resilience laid the foundation for a brighter future for generations to come.
This episode is a tribute to the power of love, sacrifice, and the courage to start anew. It’s a poignant reminder of the lengths parents go to for their children and the lasting legacy of their decisions. Whether you're reflecting on your own family’s journey or seeking inspiration in the face of challenges, Dr. Lagutin’s story will leave a lasting impact.
All this through the eyes of his son and my amazing friend: Mr. El Lagutin
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You are the cap for whatever goes on in your store, in your company, in your district, in your household. However excited you are, what you believe is possible, whatever that threshold is. Hey, good afternoon. Team Jim Cripps here with the Charge Forward podcast, and I have a great guest for you today. It is my long-term friend, Mr. El Lagutin. He's a rock star, he's just a great family man, hardworking dude that I am proud to call my friend and I'm glad he's joined me in the studio today. Man, I'm so glad to be here. It's exciting. I love it, man. So you know, we've known each other almost a decade.
El Lagutin:Right at it yeah.
Jim Cripps:Right at it.
El Lagutin:I think both Castle and Raleigh were about one.
Jim Cripps:Yeah.
El Lagutin:And they're both turning 11 or have turned 11.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, well, and I remember the first time I ever heard your name, brenda Wilt. Yeah, she was like, hey, do you know Ella Gooden? And Brenda Wilt? Yeah, she was like, uh, hey, do you know ? And I was like what? And she goes, , and I I'm on the phone. You know, I'm in, I'm actually in California talking, talking to her on the phone and I didn't understand what she said. And she goes, the sprint guy, , and I was like, oh, yeah.
Jim Cripps:So, um, you know, I think we met that next week and I knew who you were, cause we'd been in the same industry for, you know, a decade or two decades before that and, um, you know, ended up working together and it was a kind of a trying time in in that space and we went through just an insanity of of growth. And you know, one of the things I remember about you is you just jumped straight in Like it wasn't long after you started working there, like just a couple of weeks, and we had to grow like crazy. And I was like, hey, I got a kiosk in Ocala, california, that I need picked up this evening. And you were like, yeah, man, book the flight. Uh, I'll, uh, I'll call Jenny and he's like all right, she knows I'll be late oh man, I remember that.
El Lagutin:And, um, if you also remember about that trip, raleigh decided to put his pocket knife in mycase and I got stopped by TSA on the flight down. Yeah, I remember that.
Jim Cripps:Well, and I don't know if you remember this, so you know, not long after we started working together, you bought a Razor. I bought a Razor. We started riding together, all the things, and I forget what it was. I was dropping off some tires or something with Jason Wofford, who worked at NES, and I forget what was going on, but I borrowed your truck.
El Lagutin:Oh yes, because he worked at the power company Right.
Jim Cripps:Yes, and so I go to pull into the power company and I did not know when I borrowed your truck, it just never even crossed my mind that your firearm was right there. And of course I pull in and this is a secure area where you're not allowed to have anything like that. And I am sitting at the booth in a mild freak-out moment and I'm like, no, no, I'm in the wrong place, let me. And he was like just pull in and turn around. I'm like no, no, no, I can back out, I can back you know so.
Jim Cripps:but yeah, it was fun and since that time, not only have we got to know each other, become great friends, and you know our wives get along, our kids get along, just all the things but one of the reasons that, um, that you came in today, is to tell your dad's story. Yeah, and it's. You know I'm not going to say that there's nothing like it, because I'll, I'll guarantee you that that somebody out there has got a, you know, uh, an immigrant mom or dad that that persevered through amazing things. But it does not take away from how amazing your dad's story is and what they did in order to ensure that you guys had a better life.
El Lagutin:Yeah, and it's. You know it's a cool story and what I'm proud of is, um, where I am today, who I am, right, but um, it's also cool that I am first generation American, right, like I am. I am the first person in my family to be born in the United States, right, and when you hear that, it's like it's you see it on the news and you hear the election and all this stuff. But, um, me and you aren't that far removed from that and where your, my life could have changed or my life could have taken a different direction, or, um, I wouldn't have met Jen, right, Like, if I wasn't born in the United States, I wouldn't have Lucy and I wouldn't have Raleigh, and um, it's all on the foundation that my dad and my mom built for us, right, and so that's cool.
Jim Cripps:Well, and it was with extreme sacrifice, because I didn't even know this until recently. But you know they actually had a your. Your older sister was born in the Philippines and it was a considerable amount of time before she was allowed to join your parents. Yeah, uh it.
El Lagutin:Mainly it was visas, number one, and number two was financial. They just could not afford to bring her when they came Right. My mom was pregnant with me when they came to the United States, and so I think my dad knew that he's not going to be able to provide for that, and so he had to make that decision to leave my older sister in the Philippines for a while to with his parents until they could afford to get her here. Yeah, that's crazy.
Jim Cripps:Well, it's also to kind of. The clock was ticking because they needed to get here before you were born, so then they didn't have a. A a compounded, you know, financial problem with trying to get two kids to the States, um making even less likely.
El Lagutin:Yeah, and I think my dad uh, deep down wanted me to be born here, right Like he. He wanted me to be, you know, natural born citizen, so I think that that was important to him.
Jim Cripps:Well, and I think the other thing, too, that I find, you know, just amazing is that you know he was a doctor there and and really had to come here and start all over.
El Lagutin:He, he really did, and you know, know, that's a cool story in itself. He went to med school in the Philippines, graduated top of his class, which is, you know, to think about that now is incredible, right, like you have to be wicked smart to do that, and my dad was. And then he did his residency on Clark Air Force Base there in the Philippines. And, you know, the Air Force came to his medical school and, hey, if you do your residency here, we'll give you an avenue to get to the United States. And he, he did that.
El Lagutin:And so he did that, came to the United States and when he got here, found out, you know, he is not a licensed physician in the United States, and so he just had a new baby and needed to figure that out, and so his first job was in California. So when they moved here, I was born in Oakland California. I was born in Oakland California, um, and so his first job in the United States was counting baskets, coming off ships, um, doing that. And then he shined shoes, um, you know, going to from being a doctor in the Philippines, you know, um to coming to the United States and not having anything, um, just to make it in the United States Right and it's a.
Jim Cripps:I think that just proves just how powerful that dream was. Yeah Right, you know, because I you know a lot of doctors and a lot of just people in general. You know we all have our egos right and our ego actually, uh, I know it's meant to protect us, but it ends up getting in the way a lot of times because maybe we're not willing to do that thing that we're going to have to do in order to survive or in order to get to that goal and to show that humility for him to come here and say it's so important for my family to come here to the United States and to flourish. I'm willing to count baskets, shine shoes, do whatever I have to do, even though I was a doctor. But in order to get back to that I've got, I've got to go. What would what would be seen as even below the bottom right?
El Lagutin:Yeah, and, and you know I think him doing that stuff. You know, he didn't just talk the talk, he, he actually walked it. Um, he was willing to do anything he could to provide for me and my sisters, right. So there's three of us. I have an older sister and a younger sister and, um, you know, he never, they never raised us, or you know, we weren't raised in this.
El Lagutin:You know, high society of my, you know I'm a doctor and my kids aren't, you know. So we were raised on hard work, um, you know, and and me having a family now and going through job changes and going through different careers in my life, um, I've never been ashamed to do whatever I needed to do to put food on the table or to make sure the house is paid for, make sure my kids have a warm place to sleep, right, and so, um, you know I can, I can remember going back and um losing. I got laid off, um from one job and didn't have a, you know, didn't know what I was going to do, and a buddy of mine owned a drywall company and you and I wasn't ashamed to go work and carry mud and sheet rock around just to make sure ends were meeting. That work ethic came from what my dad instilled in me. He's like you're never too good to do any particular job.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, well, and so paint the picture for me. Particular job so yeah, well, and and so paint the picture for me how, how long did it take for him to become a doctor here in the States and get a role in that in that capacity?
El Lagutin:I would. I think you know I don't know the timeline per se, but I do remember the struggle as a little kid, um, but you know he got. He did get a job at a hospital in Chattanooga. Um did. He would have to go back down. So we I grew up in Chattanooga, that's that's what I call home Um, and so he would have to go down to Atlanta every weekend um to Emory, and take um board certifying classes um so that he could get back his board certificates. And um several years I mean it took it took several years for for him to do that Um and and so in that time he's working seven days a week.
El Lagutin:Oh, all the time, um. And so he was working at the hospital, um, and then my mom was working at the same time just to try to get us through. And, crazy enough, you know all the struggles that my parents went through. They still sacrificed and figured out a way to put the three of us through private school, which, growing up, we took that for granted. We didn't understand what that looked like.
El Lagutin:But now that we all have kids and you know I'm lucky enough or blessed enough to say that you know I'm able to put my kids through private school and that's a struggle on me and my wife, you know it's like. You know we have a great school system but we've chosen to have a foundation of a Christian school and that's why we put them in the schools that they're in now and Lucy can come back and say that, hey, thank you for putting me through. Silverdale is the school that they go to, um, it's really helped me in college, um. So that's, that's been a blessing to hear that part Um.
El Lagutin:But now I I I think back and look at the struggles that my dad went through to put us through private school, um, and trying to go through his boards and trying to build up a practice and trying to be the doctor who he was, and so, and the dad man, my dad didn't miss anything, and so, um, that's, that's been the cool part for me to see, and, and you know, um, hopefully stepping into those shoes and be the dad that I, that he was to me, to my kids, right, and so that's, that's the best part of everything, yeah.
Jim Cripps:Well, you know, one of the things that stands out in my head is you know, y'all lived in Nashville for a long time, we did, and because of family and because you wanted your kids to to, to grow up more in tune with your family, and those types of things, um, you know what was it? 2017, 2018?
El Lagutin:Uh, 20, yeah, 2017, 2018, right around there. Yeah, 16, 17, somewhere around there.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, you guys moved back to um, to Chattanooga. We did, and that was a uh, that meant a significant job change for you, yep, and you know, outside of your industry not not outside of your scope, but outside of your industry and, uh, you know, it had its, it had its season and there was, there was good things and there was challenges along with that, uh. So if you will just kind of walk us through that Cause, I mean, there's a lot of people that would find a 50 reasons not to pick up and move um and and do what you did.
El Lagutin:Yeah, um well, I have to say, the main thing is is Jen, um, uh, so you know, she, she was working from home and that was like a new thing, right. So working from home was new and showed her job. She was working from home, so she was able to move wherever we needed to move to, as long as she was in a certain territory so Chattanooga being one and she was super supportive to say, you know, hey, you know, I've had this every now and then, every couple of years, I would say, hey, I want to move back to Chattanooga. And so she would say, you know, it's not the right time right now, or this and that. And so she was really supportive one day and said, hey, I've, I've been thinking about this, I'm ready to move back if you're ready to move back. Um, and so we were able to move back. But when we did it the job that I was doing here in Chet in Nashville at the time, um, ended up having an opening in Chattanooga and so I, I threw my name in the hat and ended up getting it Um, so we were able to move back.
El Lagutin:And you know, we've been back, I think seven years, eight years now. Uh, we're going on eight years and, um, as you know, we lost my dad, um, back in March, um, and so I'll never, ever regret that sacrifice of moving back to Chattanooga. Yes, we gave up a lot, right, we gave up our house here in Franklin, we gave up the city of Nashville and the sports and the music scene all to go back to Chattanooga. But I'll never, ever regret that time. To go back to Chattanooga and let my kids spend that time with my dad for the last seven years, that that is something that I'll I'll never, ever regret, and it was invaluable.
El Lagutin:No, yeah, you can't even put a price on it Not at all, and so Jen and I actually spoke about this last week or so. You know it's like. You know, chattanooga is a small town. Everybody knows each other. There's not a lot of transient people from Chattanooga, right, and so Nashville is just a very transient city and it's like very eclectic and you know, you see a lot of people that look like me who's married to somebody. That looks like Jen, right, and so you don't see a lot of that in Chattanooga. It looks like Jen, right, and so you don't see a lot of that in Chattanooga. So, but the reward of my kids being able to spend time with Jen's mom in Chattanooga and my dad until he passed that that was that's worth every bit of the sacrifice that we had to make. Oh yeah, absolutely.
Jim Cripps:Well, you know, and we get along just swimmingly and our spouses get along and our kids get along. And you know now Lucy's old, older than both Raleigh and Castle, but she's fantastic and just a lovely young woman going to going to UT. Yeah, you know, I constantly pray for you having having a teenage, almost 20 year old. You, you know, in another city, in college, just all the things as a dad that you would worry about. But you know, one of the things that kind of pops off in my head is you told me not too long after we met, you were telling us the story of how you met Jen's family for the first time. Yes, and you went to their family, get together Christmas, whatever it was, and so, if you will, please tell that story.
El Lagutin:So Jen's family is from a very small town in North Tennessee, jamestown, jamestown, tennessee. So the very first time that she'd invited me to come it was a family reunion. So I went up there and for the first maybe hour or so I acted like I didn't speak English. Um, and so she. Um, that was number one. It's just hilarious to see, you know how the interactions of people's eyes like what is jennifer doing with this guy? Like what in the world? And then, um, I finally came out. You know, I have a southern accent. I'm, you know, filipino, the, but jennifer calls me a Filipino redneck, and you know I have.
Jim Cripps:I feel like that's pretty. Yeah, you know, it's like.
El Lagutin:I, um, you know, have a Southern accent and so I speak, start speaking to everybody. Well, that in turns flips everybody's heads up, you know. It's like okay. So first we didn't think he spoke English. Now he speaks Southern. Yeah, southern draw, and so that was just it's hilarious.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, 30 minutes later you're racing four-wheelers and, yes, somebody's truck stuck in the mud and got invited to the drinking shed there, yes, there you go.
El Lagutin:So they weren't allowed to drink in the house, and so, um which jennifer was very proud that I got invited by her uncles to the drinking shit.
Jim Cripps:So there you go. Yeah, I love it. Um well, man, and you know, one of the things that I, that I find uh, I don't want to say interesting about you, cause that's not the right word Maybe I'm, I'm somewhat, uh I don't want to say envious, cause that's too strong a word about you is you have never met a stranger in your entire life Like you can walk up and strike up a conversation with anybody on this planet. It's a skill that I struggle with, but I mean you just you're a master at it.
El Lagutin:I don't think you struggle with it. I don't think you give yourself enough credit for it. Um, no, I think that us moving, um, you know, jennifer and I grew up in Chattanooga and we decide that we we wanted to. There's a great big world out there, right. And so we wanted to move around quite a bit.
El Lagutin:And, uh, when we moved here to to Nashville, I think the largest part of our marriage, um, we've spent here in Nashville, right. And so, um, we figured out that, um, so we figured out that there's not a lot of people from Nashville that can say you're probably the only friend that I have that can originally say, like, hey, I'm from Nashville area, right, and so, other than that, nobody from that lives in Nashville or Franklin, it's very rare that you find somebody that's native to Nashville. And so, I, we had to figure out that, hey, everybody's in the same boat, like, we're all trying to make it here, and, and we, it takes a village, and that's my biggest thing so, like, it takes a village to run your life and it also, you also need a village to help you run your life, Right. And so, um, I'm happy to be part of several people's village, um, I, I take that into very. You know, I'm honored when I'm part of somebody's village, but, um, for me to be able to just open up and talk to people, they're they're just as timid at first as as but the first person to you. Just go out and talk to somebody, you can find that you are all on the same level playing field. We're trying to figure out life together, and it's easier to do life as a team than it is by yourself, do life as a team than it is by herself. Um, so you know it's that's just the way I am, and I think I was just born to be a little bit outgoing. Uh, jen is the opposite of outgoing Um, so I think it takes both in a marriage to make that work.
El Lagutin:And so, um, I think that way, and, um, I love, I love sales. So that that's I'm. I'm probably, um, just a avid sales guy, and so, if, if I'm not selling a tchotchke, I'm selling myself, right? And so, um, I want people to buy into who I am and see that I am real and I'm not trying to. You know, pull one over on you and I'm here to help, and um, call me anytime you need me and I'll I'll come and help.
Jim Cripps:Right, yeah, no, and and I can speak to that a hundred percent, you know, uh, whether it was at work or whether it was as friends or whatever. You know, um, and, like I say, our, our kids are friends too. Yeah, that's, uh, I love it.
El Lagutin:Yeah, that's uh, I love it. Yeah, raleigh looks forward to the yearly Lake Winnie that when you come town Right, and so, uh, I think that's cool that they've been able to keep that friendship alive.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, absolutely. Um, well, you know, kind of early on, uh, you know we started riding razors together and uh, that in in. In my opinion, that is a totally separate bond, um, especially at wind rock maybe it's that way everywhere in the world, I don't know. Um, but you know that's. You work through some things, you're going to break down, you're going to need somebody's help. You know, you just all the different things that can happen out on a trail, uh, with, with, whether it's just the guys riding, whether it's the whole family riding, whatever that looks like. But we absolutely just have a blast whenever we're with you guys.
El Lagutin:Having a razor at times can be the most stressful part of life, like when you're driving through the woods and you break down. It can be so stressful. But yet again, what I was saying, it's better to get through life as a team so you don't ever want to go into the woods by yourself, right, you need a team and I think that us finding those challenges. I think we look for those challenges, let's be honest. Yeah, but when we break down and try to figure that out, to me that is 90 percent of the fun is to break down and try to help people out.
El Lagutin:So, man, we've you know, the cool thing about me and you is we are more alike and our paths have been very similar. And when we met, when we first started working together and we met, I was like Jim and I are going to be friends for life. Number one we talked about razors the very first day I started working there, right. Then we figured out that we both worked at circuit city together. We knew a lot of the same people through the circuit city channel and we worked like our paths were very similar until they are today, right, and like um, you have castle and I have Raleigh, and I think that we raise our boys up the same way, and yeah, they're.
Jim Cripps:I think they're like three months apart. Yeah, almost down to the day.
El Lagutin:Yes, so, so, yeah, Raleigh will be 11 next week. I know, yeah, I can't believe it. It's awesome.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, I love watching them grow up. I think it's just fantastic watching them become stronger and, you know, just growing into who they're supposed to be. Yeah, um, you know, and I think that I think that plays in a large part why your dad did what he did. Is he had a vision whether he was able to put it into words or not that there was so compelling.
El Lagutin:It was like I am willing to do this crazy, scary thing and and I'm doing it because I think it's going to pay off and that future generations and now you know, I think I think you guys are a case study for that yeah, I think so, um, you know, along with my, my dad's hard work, um, and his vision of seeing where he wanted us to be right is his love, for his love and his faith was very, very, very strong, Right, and so dad instilled to the three of us is hard work, family, you know, you're here for your family, thick and thin, and his love for Christ, that was his biggest, his three biggest things in life, and so I think dad instilled that in me, and if I just follow those three steps, you know hard work, family and God I will be.
El Lagutin:You know to my kids what he was to me, right, and so and I think that if I'm half the dad that he was to me, I'm, I'll be a great dad, um, so hopefully, you know the the future is going to show that and I I strive for that. But my dad made all these sacrifices to leave a legacy, right, and so you know me and my sisters we all have kids and man, they looked up to my dad so much and he they respected him so much. But I think that they also got the hard work and the dedication and the family life um through my dad, um and through us, and so I think that's, that's to me, that's the most important thing.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, now I mean I would. I would be amiss if I had said it was all sunshine and rainbows. Um, cause you know, uh, now how? How old were you when your parents um?
El Lagutin:divorced 12. I was 12. My younger sister was 10. Um, my older sister was almost 18. I think about that time, if I'm not mistaken, yeah.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, and in a large part she's been absent from the picture.
El Lagutin:Yes, unfortunately I don't. I don't. I don't want to speak for my sisters, but I don't have a relationship with my mom. I care about my mom. She'll always be my mom. You only get one Right, and so I will always regard her and respect her as as my mom. You only get one Right and so, um, I will always regard her and respect her as as my mom, my mother, um, because she made the same sacrifices that my dad had to make right To get here, um, and so I'll always respect that. And and you know it's still a gift to you, it is still, yeah, um, and if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have my kids, um, and so I think, I think that, um, I think that's a tough part, um, right, because growing up, she, she left, uh, you know, she was in our lives until we, I was about 16, 17.
El Lagutin:And then, um, she moved away and we, we haven't really had a relationship and when, when you say relationship, it's um, we say you're on the holidays or we saw her on the holidays. The past few years it hasn't been that like that, um and I, I won't say that, it hasn't been hurtful, but I don't hold any anger anymore. You know, it's one of these. It's like she's the one missing out at this point, right, like she doesn't get to see my kids grow up Inside. I've kind of put a barrier that I actually would rather her not, right, um, be around, because it's, it's hurtful every time. I don't want to have to hash that out anymore, but, um, she's the one at this point missing out and um, yeah, it's unfortunate, right and so.
El Lagutin:But I, at the end of the day, I see my wife, I see Jen be the mother to her kids. That I'm like, how does a mother up and leave kids? You know, it's like we enjoy being around our kids and, as a matter of fact, I like beg Lucy to spend more time with us. But I understand, she's almost 20 and once she's got to figure out her own life as well, right, but um, I'll. I don't think that me or Jen will ever step away from our kids and not want to be part of that, and so that's the hardest part for me to understand. Um, I'll never understand that. But I've moved on, right, and so, again, I don't want to speak for my sisters, but I think we're all in the same boat, um, on that.
Jim Cripps:But yeah, and you know, I'm sure that was hard on your dad too. How did you see your dad change after that?
El Lagutin:Um, you know the here's the thing Jim so, jim so, uh, when they, when they divorced, um, I will say, until the day my dad passed away, um, my dad never spoke an ill word about my mom. That's powerful. He. He never did and I think he always respected mom for who she was, um and the mother of his children. And he never, ever let us talk bad about mom or air out our grievances to him, about our frustrations about mom. He would always stop us still and say I don't want to hear that, she's still your mom, you need to respect her. And he never spoke negatively about my mom and that was cool to me now that I see it right.
Jim Cripps:Well, I think it's probably because of his value system. Yeah, you know hard work, family and God. Yeah, there's not really space for that kind of negativity or to run down her name.
El Lagutin:You're right, and I think he also did that as a lesson to me as his only son Right and so I think that he kind of instilled that in me that no matter what, I'll respect Jen instilled that in me that no matter what, I'll respect Jen she's you know, she's the mother of my kids, so that I don't want my kids to ever hear me talk negatively about Jen as a wife or as a mom. You know we give each other a hard time here and there, but you know nothing real that I would ever say negative in front of the kids just because my dad never did it Right, and so I think that's just something that he instilled in me.
Jim Cripps:Well, you know, and Emily and I had this conversation not too long ago and I forget who it was, but you know, a friend of hers was just about their spouse, hers was just about their spouse and, um, and she had seen I don't know if it was a tick tock or if it was a you know a short or uh, maybe maybe it was um with with you know, somebody else, but it was kind of like you should never do that, because while you might just be blowing off steam and you get over it 30 minutes later, that person, until the next time they see you, is still carrying that and then potentially reignites it in you, because this is the last thing they remember about.
Jim Cripps:Oh, he was being a fill-in-the-blank and he's still being that. And then you get fired back up and then now, all of a sudden, there's another fight that I mean, that was, that was gone, that was a, that was a fleeting, you know blowing off steam kind of thing, and and I do think that people inadvertently, um, or maybe intentionally, I don't know, but they do that Um, and and it's just not healthy, it's not.
El Lagutin:It is not, and I think me and you have spoken about this a couple of times right and like, jen is my life partner, and so I also don't want to paint this picture that we have this. You know we never get in arguments or anything like that, but, um, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, I know that my safe zone is Jen. Um, I can be upset, I can be sad, I can be happy. We win together and we lose together, right and so me, knowing that she's always got my back and and I think hopefully she knows that I've always got hers Um, there's, there's not.
El Lagutin:Life is short and there's not enough time to sit in. You know, degrade your partner, um, right and so, um, we were on the same team. So why not root for your teammate, your teammate? Right, like I'm not going to root if me and you are on the same team, I'm not going to root for you to fail. Right and so, um, I think that's the most, that's, it's really important, right and so um I think it's.
Jim Cripps:It's one of those things, because I mean where I really like to operate whether we're talking about, uh, personally or in business or uh any those things I like to operate in this zone that I call selfish and selfless at the same time. Yeah, and so if you think about it, the most selfish thing you could possibly do is root for your teammate and the most selfless thing that you could possibly do at the same time is root for your teammate. So I mean it's win-win. Like you haven't, there is never a reason why you would. You would ever, um, you know, wish, wish a negative thing on your partner in this life.
El Lagutin:You're right, I mean it's, it's again. Life's too short, right Like?
Jim Cripps:or, in this case, what we're talking about is painting them in a in a in a in a in a light that's unfavorable. Um, you know and I think we're both incredibly fortunate in this this actually comes up in almost every episode, but, uh, it wasn't by design, but when we, when we think about people who charge forward and people who default to leaning in when other people would give up, um, a lot of times it's because they have a supportive spouse. Yeah, and so for you and Jen, what do you? What do you think? Like, how important has the fact that you found each other been to your lives?
El Lagutin:You know, if it wasn't for Jen I will tell you this I wouldn't be in the seat that I am today. I wouldn't have the life that I've got today, Right, so you know me, I'm very I like to take chances or I like to take risks. Sometimes they're not good, sometimes they're great. But if it wasn't for Jen to kind of keep me anchored down at times, I definitely wouldn't be where I am today. But if it wasn't for Jen, I also wouldn't be as successful as I am today. Right, because there's there's different challenges that we face, that she's like we need to take this opportunity and run with it, like moving back to Chattanooga, or you're not happy in doing this day to day stuff.
El Lagutin:Let's look at other options. Um, you know I, I wouldn't have the education that I've got today without Jennifer. Um, and so, and I think our kids aren't who they are if it wasn't for both of us. Um, so you know, I think, choosing a spouse or me choosing Jennifer, I don't ever want to say it that way because luckily she chose me. I didn't get to choose her, it was by luck that we met and you know she picked me out of everybody, and so to me that means more than anything um at all, cause I don't want to say that I picked her cause. That's definitely not the choice. You know the answer to that? Sure.
Jim Cripps:Sure, well, I think we're both just incredibly fortunate. We have great families and it starts with, uh, you know great parents that gave you a foundation and you know, leaving your dad, you know living your dad's example, and then, um, and then having the, the luck and the good fortune and the, the I say it this way, your picker wasn't broke, or her picker wasn't broke. Um, and to have a spouse selection is is such a big deal to the overall, uh, happiness of life, and and and again, with two wonderful kids. You know, and you know, early on, when we met, lucy was neck deep in dance and I didn't even know that that was a space, like I am, I am so not a girl dad, I, you know, of course.
Jim Cripps:You know castle was maybe two at that time or one, and you were like, hey, lucy's got a dance recital, would you like to come? And I was like sure, having no idea what we had signed up for, I mean it was fantastic. I mean, like the ability of these. You could tell when did Lucy start and dance? She was four.
El Lagutin:Her first dance class.
Jim Cripps:Yes, okay, and so we're going to go back, say, nine years ago, so she would have been roughly 10. Yep, so the majority of her life she was in dance, even at 10 years old, and the majority of my life for her was at dance.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, oh yeah, um, but these kids rocked it and you know Emily went, you know I don't want to say begrudgingly, but she was like we're really going to a dance recital and I'm like you know it's for Lucy and she was like okay, all right, whatever. And you know we go and castle's rocking along. I mean it was, it was like nothing we'd ever been, we that, that was our life.
El Lagutin:Um, you know, and and again we were new to nashville right, and so signing lucy up for dance got us to be able to meet other people who were in the same boat that we were, and some of our greatest friends to that till this day are our dance family that we had. Yeah, unfortunately, lucy quit dance, which breaks my heart every day, but she stopped and decided she wanted to cheer instead, so but, but how awesome that she had the presence of mind to say I want to do this.
Jim Cripps:Most kids would have just kept doing what mom and dad had been putting into, and I'm doing this because I'm supposed to do this, yep, but you know, to have a strong-willed daughter that has a good foundation, knows who she is, enough presence of mind at how old was she? Like 13 or so?
El Lagutin:Yeah, right around there To say Eighth grade yeah.
Jim Cripps:To say I want to do something different.
El Lagutin:It was hard on her. I think you and I have spoken about this. We'll never push our kids to do something that they don't want to do, but our kids will always have an extracurricular activity. Right, because if it wasn't for dance, I think that Lucy, it wouldn't be the person that she is today. Right, I think dance taught her how to be confident. It taught her hard work, it taught her, it taught her dedication and and how to practice and to get you know, accomplish the things that she wanted to do, and so and it's success, success along the way.
El Lagutin:Yeah, I mean they. They won a lot of trophies and she um, you know, you know it's been. It was great to watch. I loved it, um and I you know, matter of fact, her roommates, um, from college, came and spent the weekend with us and we pulled up all of her old dances and let them watch it, and so they. That was cool to see, Um, but it you know it's. We will always make our kids do some kind of extracurricular activities. We'll never push them to do what they don't want to do, but they're always going to have something outside of school to keep them busy.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, absolutely. Now, kind of along the way, who have you seen is either a mentor for you or for your dad, or maybe even Jen? Who would you attribute some real deal direction to?
El Lagutin:Yeah, I think we have. We have a couple and I learned this from my dad. So my dad had two really good friends who were also mentors to him Dr Weathers, who's his past, and and another doctor of his friend, dr Dressler. They were really good, you know, mentors to dad. They they showed him you know how to, how to help build a practice, or you know how to how to survive in Chattanooga, knew the United States, and you know I'll always be grateful to watch them, take dad under his wing and I think I have three mentors that I've, you know, kind of cling to. One is James Sella.
Jim Cripps:You know him yeah.
El Lagutin:So he's been a great mentor to me business wise. He helped me a lot when I transitioned from inside sales to outside sales. He really kind of took me under his wing and kind of showed me the ropes on that. And then, dan, he was with Sprint as well. He was out of Memphis, he passed a few years back and he was probably one of my biggest mentors. And then I think you know me and you being friends, I think the way that we raise our kids together and we talk about family and family first. I think me and you are good mentors to each other and I think that and you are good mentors to each other, you know, and I think that's helpful.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, bouncing ideas off of somebody that you think you know doesn't not have exactly the same opinion as you do, but it also is a good enough friend to tell you when you're out of bounds. Yeah, you know, because there's a lot of people that will disagree with you because they don't want conflict. Those are not your real friends. Your real friends will call you out on your mess.
El Lagutin:Yeah, and I think that mentorship or those kind of friends change in the season of life that you've got, right, and I think a lot of people think a mentor they have to be older than you or they don't, you know, and that's that's really not the case. I think that if you have to be some, you have to surround yourself with like-minded individuals that will also call you out on your crap, right? And so I think that's the kind of friendships that you went, you need in life and that turn into mentors, right. And so I think in today's world, the past few years for me is is we become really good friends. Our wives hang out together a lot, and it's Gary Meadows he's probably the guy that I turn to now. His kids are older. His youngest is Lucy's age and his oldest is 24, 25.
El Lagutin:And to see him walk through that life with his boys has helped, has helped me figure out how to walk through life with my boy, right. And so, um, he, he's been a great friend. And um, when things aren't going my way, he's the first to call me out and be like life's not that way, man, it's not always going to go your way, you know, buck up, you know. And so it's like, um, he's been a really good mentor to me here lately. Um, my best friend for the past, my whole life, is Jeremy Um, you know him, um, we worked together for a little while and, um, he he's always been a great mentor to me and helped me through difficult times. You know he, he was there the day my parents got divorced and he was there the day dad died, you know. And so we walk through life together, and if it wasn't for his friendship and support, I wouldn't be where I am today, and so I again. Like I said earlier, it takes a village, um, and, and that village to me means more than anything.
Jim Cripps:It does Well, and to talk about a little bit of a God moment, Um, and when I start, when I bring this up, you're going to remember this. So this was like maybe a year and a half ago. Um, you, raleigh Castle and I went to Windrock and the night before we we all got there a little bit late, so we ended up just meeting for dinner before we went to the cabin there a little bit late, so we ended up just meeting for dinner before we went to the cabin and I asked about you and Jeremy. Yeah, and y'all had not spoken for like a year, almost a year. Yeah, yeah, and I was like you know, how are you going to, how are you going to do that? And it was this back and forth of you know, well, it's it's kind of in his court and me kind of poking at you and going well, I mean, it can be in your court and you can still help it along. And he I don't know if he called or he text while we were at dinner.
El Lagutin:Yeah, he actually text while we were riding Razors in a trail and he said call me when you get a minute. Yeah, which that was a, yeah, that was a God moment. Yeah, um, which that was a uh, yeah, that was a God moment, right, and so, um, jeremy is my best friend, my ride or die, my, you know, he's the, he's the guy that, um, he's, he's my buddy, that we don't have to talk in the same room and we know what, what, what we're saying to each other. Um and you know, long story short, I, I, he was gracious enough to bring me on board at his work, um, at the company that he owns. Um, and so when, when I did, I, we both had every intention for us to be there long-term, um, and so I ended up leaving Um, I, I was able. I got another opportunity on a left. I didn't handle it the right way, um, you know we had every intention. You know we'd spoken about it. Hey, if you're not happy here, or if you're not happy with me being here, we need to have that conversation up front.
El Lagutin:Um and I didn't have that conversation with him soon enough, and it wasn't that I wasn't happy there, I just had a better opportunity somewhere else and to be able to spend a little bit more time with the family.
El Lagutin:Sure, the position where I'm at today, I have a lot more flexibility, and so that kind of put a bruise on our relationship for a little while, um, and so we didn't speak for a little while, um, and my heart hurt every day, um, until we were able to patch things up, um and we, we talk almost every day again, all right, and so, um, that again, that's what a true friend is, is you can have those disagreements and move on and then kind of get back together, which again, that was really hard. That was probably the hardest time of my life outside of my family. That was hard. And for you to bring that up after I hadn't thought about it for a while, and then the next, like an hour later, me and him are having a conversation on the phone and we work some things out, which it was a blessing, and I'm grateful for that every day.
Jim Cripps:Yeah Well, you know God has a plan and you know sometimes we see it and sometimes we don't, and sometimes it needs to smack us upside the head.
El Lagutin:Yeah, man, and um, you know, I again, I'll, I'll never. I made a mistake, you know, and I and I, I've. I feel like I've owned up to it. Um and I, I, I handled it incorrectly.
Jim Cripps:Um, and yeah, I, I regret that, but um, the reality is we're all going to make mistakes, yeah, and anytime you're going to do business with somebody that is that close a friend, um, communication is critical and you know, there's never been a problem in the world. In fact, uh, uh, nick Heider, who owns this studio, uh, great friend of mine, he, he says this uh, there's never been a problem in history that was made worse by the best communication. Yeah, you're right, I mean, it's spot on, yeah, yeah. So you know, and I encourage any employer, whether you're a friend with somebody or not and this gets a little bit lost in translation, but this is the best way I've found to describe it to somebody.
Jim Cripps:If I was going way back when I would say think of a hitchhiker these days, I would say think of a ride share. Um, but you know, imagine that I'm in California and you are looking for a job. You're, you're on the side of the road, you've got your resume and you know we have a conversation. It's important and it is my job. Now, I could say that it's both of our job, but I'm going to put it on the employer. It is the employer's job to find out what that potential employee's goal is. Where are they trying to get to, because, with you standing there with your resume in your hand, it may be that you need to put food on your table, and it is literally to get out of the proverbial rain. Um, and I have a car. Well, that gets you out of the rain, yeah, but if we haven't talked enough to understand that you're trying to get to Alaska and I'm headed to Tennessee, well, because this is a two way street, in that you're trying to get to Alaska and I'm headed to Tennessee, well, because this is a two-way street, in that you're putting stuff into the job, you're working, you've got effort, you've got life, you're putting into that. So it's kind of like you're paying for gas as we go, but it's my car.
Jim Cripps:Well, you get more aggravated the closer we get to Tennessee, the further you're getting away from your goal. So you get more frustrated and I, not knowing that which is really my fault for not finding out but I get to wonder why is he not being grateful? Well, I'm allowing him to have a job, and so you're getting more frustrated. I'm getting more frustrated the further we go along, when, really, if we would have known that our goals weren't aligned, we'd have never gotten the car together Absolutely At the same time, if I find out that you're headed to Texas and I'm headed to Tennessee, there is a clear jumping off point, there is a clear point where you should get out of the car, because that's how you get to your goals, and I'm well aware of that and I'm more likely to cheer you on because I'm like, hey, this is your exit, right, this is where you're headed, this is good.
Jim Cripps:And and so I do think it's it's on the hiring person to really dive deep into that and figure that out, because if it's not mutually beneficial, then it's not. It's not going to succeed Absolutely. So but?
El Lagutin:but even in jobs, right, like we can talk about that jobs, but that also happens in your life, or marriage, or your kids, right? So like communication is key for everything. Um, and so you know, yeah, I think that the biggest mistakes that I've made in life are from poor communication.
Jim Cripps:Oh, I think we could all, we could all probably hang our hat on that right there Not being honest about what we're trying to achieve or what we're looking for in a situation and then being mad at the other person for not knowing what. We were unwilling to say, sure, yeah, I mean especially in marriage. Yeah, but, but in any situation, um, you know, uh, emily and I talk about that, and I think you and I were both very fortunate in that. One, we, we had great spouse selection, whether it was our, our selection or their selection, uh. Two, we've got great kids by design.
Jim Cripps:It's not, it's not like that just happened. We were very intentional with how we raised them, what kind of core values, but also because we have been wiser with our financial decisions. A lot of the things that a lot of people struggle with, we don't because that's not a big concern in our household. By design, like we, we, we made smarter decisions, like, like I think about when you guys moved from um, from Franklin, to Chattanooga, you downsized big time, you know, um, and a lot of people wouldn't do that. They would be like oh no, no, no, we're moving back to town, we're going to have what we have now, or better, we went off to Nashville and we've got something to prove or whatever. That looks like All foolish decisions. But you guys downsized and it lined up with the whole reason you were moving back to Chattanooga was for quality of life and family.
El Lagutin:Yeah, and simplicity. I mean, that was the biggest thing. Now would I move back to Franklin? Yes, I would move back if I could, but we're all so content with where we're at and I don't even know if you know this, jim we downsized again. We went to the golf course, right, we did Okay To a small, another smaller house, um, and so we we've made these changes a because the market's been right and it's just been like we could cash in on a little things, but then our expenses, the older my kids get, you think that they would go down, but they're actually going up.
El Lagutin:You know, college is not cheap and thankfully Lucy is smart, she's very smart, and so she got. School is paid for, but living is not paid for, so we're having to front that bill. And you know we had three rules when she went to college, and you know number one is there's a budget. So you know, whatever your budget is is what it's going to be. Number two is you have to stay within a five-hour radius from wherever we living, because you also have a younger brother that you still need to be um have a relationship with and you have to keep that. And our biggest number three, which the biggest rule to me was you will not get a student loan for your bachelor's. Um. So Lucy was able to stay in those lines.
Jim Cripps:I love it. Yeah, I love it, but I mean, it was, that was by design. You put those, you put those parameters out there. Yeah, and it wasn't like you said oh, you don't get to choose, no, you get, you get to choose, and part of your choice is also determined on how much scholarship money you get.
El Lagutin:Yes.
El Lagutin:You know yeah she was all about. She was going to go to Kentucky and that's where she wanted to go. That's where, like she, we did the visit, we did everything that she, you know she wanted to go there. After all the scholarships and after the out-of-state and everything, she was $1,500. She was $1,500 a year over budget and you know a lot of people. That doesn't sound like a lot of money and at the end of the day it probably isn't that much money if you look at it right. But we had a budget Over budget is still over budget Over, budget is over budget.
El Lagutin:And we gave her a budget and you know a lot of people were like go ahead and pay, that it's only $1,500 a year. Um, she's worked really hard in high school to get to these scholarships and I had to stand my ground and Jennifer wasn't happy with me a lot of the time when it came to that. But a budget's a budget and you, we have to teach our kids today what a budget looks like so that they don't live outside of a budget later in life, Right, and so they're going to learn from us.
Jim Cripps:And if we, if we start now by saying, oh, it's OK if it's over budget, yeah.
El Lagutin:A budget's a budget, and so we had to stick to that. And now she's grateful that she ended up going to UT. She's an hour and 15 minutes door to door. She gets to come home quite a bit more. Her and Raleigh's relationships blossomed a lot more because she's able to still keep in contact.
Jim Cripps:And he's getting older too.
El Lagutin:Yeah, and he, you know, when we go up to Knoxville and go to the UT games, um, he, she's um, asked him to stay in the apartment with her, and so he thinks that that's really cool. You know, he's with these college kids and um, so that that's been that and it was a blessing in disguise. Now, was it hurtful to her at the beginning? It absolutely, um, she was heartbroken, Um, but I just couldn't go back on my my you know where I'd set the boundary on that.
Jim Cripps:Well, I think that's, I think that's critical, because you showed her that as much as you love her so much, you're willing to, like, inflict pain to teach a lesson. Yeah, and it was inflicting pain on you too, and and on Jennifer, and and like everybody, but it's that, it's that important and it's. You know, somebody would call it, some people would call that tough love, but it really is just love. Yeah, like I love you enough that I'm willing to do this.
El Lagutin:Yeah, Even though it as a dad you want to be able to give your kids whatever they want. But you're at, that's not the best route for you to do for your kids, right? I want to give everything I can for my kids and I want them to get whatever they want to a point. So you know we can't just stroke a check for everything, and so they've learned that. And you know there's different things.
El Lagutin:Funny that we're talking about this, but Lucy has even brought up. You know they're almost 10 years apart and she's brought up. Well, when I was 10, I didn't get to do that or I didn't have that stuff. Or you know he's got a TV in his room and I still don't have a TV in my room and things like that. But you know we've had to explain to her that. You know y'all are 10 years apart, number one and number two. Me and your mom are in different phases of our career now, right, and we're a little bit more mature in our career, so we are able to afford things today that we weren't able to afford when you were 10. So that's the biggest difference. It's not that we love him more.
El Lagutin:Or those dollars were allocated to Dan's, or that, yeah, or those dollars were allocated to dance, or that, yeah, or we were trying to get to a point where we are today with our, you know, our housing or you know things like that. So those are lessons that she's having to learn now and see, see that. But you know, every, every stage of life there's a sacrifice. Some hurt more than others, but I think that we've done a good job of trying to manage that. Sure.
Jim Cripps:Well, you know one of the things and I think some people could see you know your take on that as being controversial. I think it's right, in line with being a great parent, but you know, one of the segments that we have a little bit of a little bit of fun with on the Charge 4 podcast is and I can't say I came up with this myself. It was actually from the GOAT podcast, the GOAT Consulting podcast that I was on years ago, and so shout out to John and Colby for that one. But it's called Things we Think but Do Not Say, and I know you've got one that is just itching to get out. So, if you will, please, please, share with everyone, because I think that you can speak to this so that everybody can hear it.
El Lagutin:Yeah.
El Lagutin:So my biggest pain point right now, I think, is equality.
El Lagutin:Everybody wants the same for everything, and I think that in the world that we live in, there's no such thing as equality, because to be equal means you're taking something from somebody and giving it to another to make it equal, right.
El Lagutin:And so I think of it as cups, right. So if you have a cup that's full and one that's empty, to make them equal, you have to pour out of the full one to make the other one you know to be equal, which now you have half of one and a half of the other, and so the only way that I can think of is there's no such thing as equality. To me, it doesn't matter, because we all have the same choices and we all have the same opportunities, especially to live in the United States. We all have the same opportunities, especially to live in the United States. We all have the same opportunities to get where you want to go. Now, my checking account might be different from your checking account, but that's because of the choices that I've made Right, and so I don't think that that equal, that this whole push for equality, is true today, right?
Jim Cripps:Well, I think somebody could easily say well, it wasn't fair that your dad got to come to the United States and be a doctor. Well, so you're going to dismiss the hard work, the risk. Dismiss the hard work, the risk, the leaving a child in his home country to come here to build a life, to shine shoes, until he got back to being a doctor, to then provide for his family. I mean, hard work is what you're not accounting for in a lot of those cases. Yeah, and you know it's not fair, it's not in. Well, I will say this. So, uh, this is another another Nick Heider, uh, uh, saying is life's fair, everybody's price is just different. That's so good, and I think it sums the whole thing up.
Jim Cripps:Because what are you willing to pay? Because your dad was willing to pay risk, he was willing to pay the work in seven days a week, he was willing to not be a doctor anymore, to go shine shoes, to then one day become a doctor again, because he worked seven days a week in order to provide for his family and to do all these things. And then, at the same time, you and you and Jenny, uh, are you and Jen making these decisions that are not necessarily fun saying no to your daughter over 1500 bucks on her college decision when it was over budget. But how big was the budget? I mean percentage wise, it seems small. But when, when the budget is out is out here, over budget is still over budget. And so how? How many things in in Lucy's life are changed because you were willing to go? Nope this, this, this was the budget, yeah.
El Lagutin:I mean it's again, it's sacrifices, right, Like you have to make sacrifices and I don't like to, I don't, I don't like to. There's a negative connotation when you hear the word sacrifice, right, and so I don't think that the every sacrifice is a negative thing. It's not, it doesn't have to be negative. Sometimes you sacrifice time, um, so that you can do other things and enjoy that other time, Right. So me sacrificing my time right now doesn't necessarily mean that's a negative thing. It just means that I'm saving up for a different time.
Jim Cripps:Right, and so not everybody is willing to sacrifice today for what they could have tomorrow.
El Lagutin:Right, and so I think that's an important thing. So that's why I think the whole equality talk, it bothers me a lot. And also, along those lines, is you talking about my dad immigrating to the United States? Right, because I think immigration talk right now is a big pain point for a lot of people. Right, it's a hot button, and to me, my stance on that is my parents are immigrants, right, and so you know there's a big push with, you know, illegal immigration and you know these people aren't here legally and these people you know illegal immigration and you know these people aren't here legally and these people you know everybody says these people, which that bothers me because they're people and they are. They are here because they're wanting to better themselves in the United States, and I'm not saying that everybody should come over illegally. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm what I'm saying. What I'm saying is there's got to be a line, right, because not everybody looks in quotation mark, american, right, and so if you say American, what does that look like?
El Lagutin:And if you want to talk about immigration and we're going to bus everybody out that's here illegally, at what step do you stop? Like, where's the line? Right? And so if you, you know my dad was here. He came here on a visa and he worked towards getting his citizenship. But I was born here, so I'm legal, like, on all intents purposes I'm legal. But had my dad and mom not gone through the the steps to become legal citizens of the United States and they stopped and they were just here illegally and they wanted to bust my dad and mom back. What about me? And down your lineage? Where's the line right? Because if you look at it, a lot of you know there's a lot of people here in the United States that are settled and they made a future. You know they've made a great life for themselves here, but their lineage is not here legally. So where do you draw the line where we're going to start busting people out?
Jim Cripps:I know that's a hot button for a lot of people, but no, I get it, and I don't know that there's there's a perfect answer for it. Um, you know, but I do think there's. That that's I feel like being an American is is kind of a spirit of, of, of hard work and hope and and those types of things. And you know, a few episodes ago, um, giannis Las Manas was, was here and he's from Latvia, yeah, and you know, I think he he said it point blank. He said you know, when I came here, um, I was here and I was working towards becoming a citizen and I knew that I couldn't, you know, I forget it had something to do with work. And he was like I knew that I couldn't, you know, I forget it had something to do with work. And he was like I wasn't willing to do that because if I, if I did that and I got caught, then that means you're out of here and you don't ever get to come back. He was like I was trying to make sure I did everything like I was supposed to to become a citizen.
Jim Cripps:And I think there's so much to that and almost to the point where I'm like, you know, kids should have to go through a civics class to do the things that people who come here and you know, come to the United States to become citizens should have to do, so that they understand what it means to be an American, absolutely. You know, I'm proud of that flag and I'm proud of the decisions we get to make because of it, but you know that that didn't come easy. People died for that and people still die for it. Die for it today. Yeah, to take it for granted or to just be like, oh well, you know, immigration doesn't matter or it's not a. It's not a decision to be made lightly on either side of it. It actually means like we should actually spend the time on it to to come to a conclusion, and then there will be hard choices, no matter where that line is drawn.
El Lagutin:Absolutely, and I think that's the hardest part, right Is like um, you have to make those decisions not lightly. Um, we have to. You know, you have to be educated on it and get some, you know, and you have to listen to both sides. That I think, that's, that's. I think the biggest problem that we have is that you know you aren't willing to hear the other side and, and you know, like you said earlier, I'm willing to talk to anybody and I'll be friends with anybody, I don't care what your stance is on political stuff or financial stuff. Like we have a common ground somewhere, yeah, but let's get to that common ground, right, and then learn from each other.
Jim Cripps:Well, I think too. So many times these days, people want to poke at each other. Instead of having this dialogue where it's like, cool, we'll find the common ground, they're like, oh, where can I poke at? Yeah, and it's like, well, and I'm just going to leave, I'm not going to be a part of that. I mean, if that's, if that's what somebody's spirit is, we're just not going to get along. And and I'm not one that's all going to argue about it, I know I'm I'm just going to remove myself from the conversation Cause I that's not a good use of my time and I think one of the one of the cool things about getting older yes, I do think we get a little wiser.
Jim Cripps:We can probably get a little more stubborn uh, you know those types of things. But I think also we we figure out that we're going to tolerate BS far less, because we've got better things to do. That's spend time with family, or spend time working on who we're supposed to become, or helping somebody, mentoring somebody. There's far too many things to do than to put up with somebody that's taking from your life Absolutely.
El Lagutin:And I think that's I think that's really important too Right Is to be able to have the strength to say I don't want to do that anymore, I don't, I don't want to listen to that anymore, I'm not going to be involved with that anymore. Around people that you know that they're always talking bad about somebody else, um, I, I don't, I'm not comfortable in that situation, because when I leave the table, am I the next person that gets talked about? So, um, I'm here to lift, try to lift people up Like I'm. I'm here to try to um, how can I help you? How can I get you in a better spot? How can I, um, bless you. You know, and I'm not, and I'm not trying to be this holier than thou guy, but, um, if you're part of my village, I'm going to make sure that our village is built strong, right, and so I think that's important, yeah.
Jim Cripps:Well, speaking of build a building strong, you know, um, I would say you and I both have been on a health journey and especially back when we first met and not long thereafter, we were far less healthy than we are today. Yeah, absolutely. And so, um, you know, I know what that my journey has kind of been like, but please share with our guests like what you know. I know you did some orange theory for a while. You know, dialing in your, in your diet and, and it's not like life hasn't happened. I mean, you've gotten thrown some some serious, uh, roadblocks and challenges and heartache along the way. Uh, but what? How's the health journey?
El Lagutin:and heartache along the way. Uh, but what? How's the health journey it's doing? It's going really well. So, um, at my heaviest I was two 55. Um, I'm I'm down to one 85, one 83. I I've still got about 10 more pounds that I'd like to get to do Um it, to do Um it. It's been, it's been hard. Um, I think the the the easiest part for me was, um switching up my diet. Um, like I went on, I did keto for a long time and then I got bored with it and so I gained a little bit of weight back, and then now I'm just trying to watch portions um now and just try to eat smarter. I don't always make the right decisions on that, but it is seeing my dad go through the health struggles that he went through. I have promised myself that I don't. I don't want to do that Like I don't. You know, I want to enjoy life a little bit more.
Jim Cripps:But I remember us having those conversations, cause it was like he's a doctor, he knows better and no, but you can't. You can't make your parents do anything.
El Lagutin:Well, that, and doctors are the worst patients. Let's just be honest. Um so, um, I, just I, I want to be able to enjoy, you know, that style, that kind of life, you know, even the older I get. And number one is I got tired of being the fattest dad at the baseball field. Um, I, I got tired of, um, when, when it was time to do the dads versus kids, to be the slowest dad on the field, um, I got.
El Lagutin:I got tired of that, you know, and I got tired of just not being able to, you know, be comfortable in my own skin. Um, and so I'm trying to get to get there.
Jim Cripps:It's still a work in progress, oh yeah, we're, I mean, and it will be forever? Um, because health is. You know, health is constantly evolving because we're getting older and so we have to do things differently. But it's about trying to get that health span and that lifespan to match up so you don't end up, you know, sick the last 10 years of your life, or not able to play with your grandkids, or you know those types of things.
El Lagutin:Yeah, and you know that that that was hard for me to watch for my dad Right. And so he worked his whole life, man, he, he just, you know he worked so hard. We had a conversation with each other and my dad was always frugal. He never wanted to spend a lot of money this and that. And finally, one day I told him I was like Dad, listen, you need to start spending some of your money because your health's going down. You need to enjoy spending some of your money because you know your health's going down. You need to enjoy some kind of life, because if you don't spend it, I'm going to spend it, you know, and I don't want to have money because you didn't right. And so that was kind of a light for him that he was like you know, you're right. Well, then he really started spending money.
Jim Cripps:So yeah, so you know, my parents were a little bit the same way, you know, grew up and we were on a shoestring budget and we, you know, it's not like we ever went hungry, but at the same time there wasn't, there wasn't much leftover, if there was anything left over.
Jim Cripps:And then, you know, even a little bit later in life, it was a struggle for them and then, as things eased up and their finances got in better shape, they were still incredibly frugal, like just crazy frugal, and I was like Dad, I don't need your money, I'm doing okay, my sister's doing okay, it's okay to spend some. And so he likes his custom cars? Yeah, and I'm glad he does. You know, in fact, the last one he said something about going to go get it and I looked at my schedule and I was like I can go in the morning, like let's go, you know, but it is fun seeing your parents enjoy life a little, and you know, uh, and I hate that he didn't get to enjoy more of that, but yeah, but he, dad, enjoyed life and his biggest thing with the grandkids.
El Lagutin:Um, you know he he spoiled them and I loved watching him spoil them and that that was. That's the coolest part for everything. So, yeah, absolutely.
Jim Cripps:All right. So, uh, I got. I got two other questions for you. We have a little bit of fun with this. So let's just say, hypothetically I know I'm throwing you on the spot with this one Hypothetically, we're putting on a charity bowling tournament and you get to pick four teammates, living or otherwise. Could be celebrities, could be pro athletes, could be anybody you, you even know their name, but you want to get as many eyes on this charity event as possible. Could be celebrities, could be pro athletes, could be anybody you even know their name, but you want to get as many eyes on this charity event as possible. Who are your four players that join you? Living or it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter Anybody. Throughout history, throughout history.
El Lagutin:Oh, okay, so JFK Okay. Yeah, that's good All right, I jfk would bring in a lot uh-huh um muhammad ali, um tiger woods and the last one. You're gonna laugh, but I just really want to ask him a lot of questions. P Diddy, oh wow, I got to know, I got to, I got. I want, I want to know the truth on that. I want to hear some of that.
Jim Cripps:Well. So it's funny that you say that because, uh, ron Hicklin. So a big shout out to the CTD bowling out there. So Ron owns a bowling company and Ron is just a force of nature. He, he decided as a teenager that he wanted to be a ball designer. Now, keep in mind that's, that's a job that five people in the world had, and he grew up to become a ball designer. So I mean, there's not many jobs that are smaller than that. You know, if you said you were going to be the, you know, the pitcher for the New York Yankees or something that's, there's one guy, that's that, or you know. You know you got a few guys Right, but anyway, and he said because if you're the lane guy, you put oil in the lanes and he was like he did, he can do the lanes About fell off the stool, all right. So last question is so for this event, you get to pick a commentator? Who's?
El Lagutin:going to commentate this event for you. Oh, I'm going to say Barack Obama, okay.
Jim Cripps:All right, barack Obama is going to commentate.
El Lagutin:Just because I think he does very well in his public speaking. Okay, and he would bring in a lot for the celebrity, for the charity. Oh, you'd have some donors there, that's for sure.
Jim Cripps:All right. So we got JFK, muhammad Ali, tiger Woods, p Diddy and Obama. So JFK and Ali are new. But multiple people have said Tiger. We had Virgil Herring on. Tiger was on his list and it was also on Quentin's list. P Diddy's now come up twice and Obama is new. Okay, that's good stuff, all right. The very last thing is have you put any thought into how you want to be remembered?
El Lagutin:Yeah, I have. Going through my dad's passing has been difficult. You know, he was my hero and all that. And I sit back and think about the way I think about dad Right. I sit back and think about the way I think about dad right and since his passing, there are so many people that have reached out that you have one person's phone number that you have remembered um to, because you could call them and they would always come help. Um, that that's the way. And then I want to be remembered as a great husband and an amazing father. That's, um, the four things that that I want people to remember. That's the legacy that I want to build. Yeah.
Jim Cripps:Yeah, you want to matter to the people who matter. Yes, absolutely, I love that man. Well L, thank you so much for coming in and hanging out with me today. It's been an absolute pleasure.
Jim Cripps:Um, and to everybody out there, I hope, I hope you took something away from this episode. I hope you learned something from whether it be the stories about El's dad and him believing in the American dream so much to take the chance on himself and to bet that he could create a life worth living here in the United States and that it would be the best thing he could possibly do for his family. What a gift that has been to El and his sisters and to future generations. Again, you can't go wrong by betting on yourself and then, at the same time, understand it's not going to be given to you. You have to put in that hard work, you have to strive towards it, and this myth of equality is really that, because you are the deciding factor in whether you and your family succeed, and it's about building a strong foundation, teaching future generations that performance matters and that hard work matters and that you have to have a strong foundation or you have to build it for you. So, anyway, get out there. Again, I wish you the best. I hope that 2025 is going to be the most amazing year that you've ever had, and it will be if you decide to make it so Until next time.
Jim Cripps:I'm Jim Cripps with the Charge Forward Podcast. Special thanks, as always, to our friends here at HitLab Studios, our friends at Sense Custom Development and Charge Forward Solutions. Take care Team is Jim Cripps here with the Charge Forward Podcast. I just want to tell you I love you. I appreciate you listening, I appreciate you for subscribing and sharing the Charge Forward Podcast with people you know and you love, because that's what we're here for. We are here to share the amazing stories, the things that people have been through, the ways that they were able to improve their life, so that you can take little nuggets from theirs and help improve your story and be better tomorrow than you were today. I hope that this is the tool you needed at the right time and that you find value in the amazing guests that we bring each and every week. Thanks so much and don't forget new episodes drop every Thursday.