Charge Forward Podcast
The Charge Forward Podcast: Dedicated to those who choose to Charge Forward into the Storm when hit with challenges. This is what makes them different and has lead to their success. When in doubt.... Charge Forward!
Charge Forward Podcast
Charge Forward with Virgil Herring: Mastering Resilience, Adaptability, and Success - Part 1
Charge Forward with Virgil Herring: Mastering Resilience, Adaptability, and Success - Part 1
Description:
World-renowned golf coach Virgil Herring joins us for a powerful two-part series on the Charge Forward Podcast, diving deep into the lessons golf imparts about resilience, adaptability, and the drive for greatness. In this first episode, we explore how the highs and lows on the golf course mirror life’s challenges, shaping our character and teaching us the strength to persevere. From Virgil’s impactful TEDx talk to his collaboration with Dave Meltzer, he reveals the importance of mentorship, self-growth, and the crucial role parents play in fostering resilience in their children.
As we navigate the post-pandemic world, Virgil discusses the adaptability required to succeed in business, sports, and life. He shares strategies on overcoming internal barriers through self-image, iterative learning, and the invaluable support of introductory coaches who lay the groundwork for future champions. With stories of his own journey and insights from mentors like John Wooden and Tony Robbins, Virgil provides a roadmap for anyone seeking personal and professional growth.
This episode also highlights the transformative power of storytelling, whether through podcasting, writing, or coaching. Virgil reveals how mental resilience in sports can reignite passion and elevate performance, underscoring the legacy of parental influence in his own life and career. Join us to be inspired by Virgil’s journey of relentless dedication and discover practical wisdom for charging forward in any endeavor.
🎧 Tune in now and get ready for an unforgettable dive into the art of resilience and success.
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Thank you,
Jim Cripps
You are the cap for whatever goes on in your store, in your company, in your district, in your household. However excited you are, what you believe is possible, whatever that threshold is. Hey team, jim Cripps here with the Charge Forward podcast. I have a special guest for you today. He is a world-renowned golf coach. He is the first PGA pro to do a TEDx talk and he's got an amazing podcast.
Speaker 2:Virgil welcome to the show. Jim, thanks for having me, buddy, it's a great honor to be here.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, man. Well, you know there's quite a bit in that intro, but you got a lot cooking and I was on your podcast about a year and a half ago. A lot has changed in your world what you got going on.
Speaker 2:Well, I can tell you that the TED Talk really flipped the script for me. I knew going in that I had a mission. I had a very solid game plan of what I wanted to have happen out of it. But, you know, be careful with the plans that you make, right? Because that then led me to having a person really enjoy my message. His name is Dave Meltzer, and Dave Meltzer is essentially, you know, jerry Maguire, right, and so Dave has taken an interest in me and he's really helped guide me through the, this next version of my life.
Speaker 2:Uh so, between public speaking and doing golf related business in which I'm coaching people, you know so much about the golf swing, but also how golf and life mirror each other, and I believe that, because we stopped playing games, most people stop playing games at age 18. If you're lucky, you stop playing games at age 23. And if you're elite, you stop playing games at age 18. If you're lucky, you stop playing games at age 23. And if you're elite, you stop playing games in your mid thirties. But we learned so many of our life lessons through playing games and when we learn the hard lessons while playing, whatever sport you want to talk about, we almost take them in a third person sense, not so much the first person so that when we miss the basketball, miss the shot at the buzzer, it hurts a little bit but it's kind of like. You know, it's almost like Michael Jordan missed that shot, because you're most of the time when you're a kid, you're pretending to be somebody else anyway, right? So when, when you have that not work out, it doesn't affect you like it will. When you're 30 years old and you show up to work one day and for no reason whatsoever, you get fired because there's a new management company that comes in, right, that's really hard to handle.
Speaker 2:But if you've been able to handle hard failures in which you prepared all of your life to make that free throw, complete that pass, make that putt, and it doesn't work out, even though you did everything right, you're able to realize that you can get back up off your feet, get back up on your feet after being knocked down and carry on.
Speaker 2:And one of the things that I just believe in is that right now, especially coming out of the pandemic, you get this. A lot of people are struggling and they don't know how to get back up, and there's a lot of people that lost everything and they didn't do anything wrong, right, right, and to be able to get back up on your feet is super important, but sometimes people are so low that they can't do it by themselves. And if I'm able to help others with a helping hand and use a game you know, four hours in the sunlight on a beautiful golf course and hearing positive messaging, and you love golf and you. You want to get better at golf and you start to realize that everything that you're doing to get better at a game you love is the exact same things you need to do to get better at life, business, family and then you can use a game that you love to spearhead the changes you want to make in your life and it becomes a lot funner to struggle.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, well, you know, I think I love that you make that analogy there. You know, one of the things that I think about is, you know, sometimes you just need that one moment to kind of snap you out of it. Yeah, sometimes you just need to make that correlation because I think a lot of times when you get knocked down, or especially if you've gotten knocked down several times, you kind of get in this mode that life is happening to you and you've quit happening to life and them they're being coached by you. Being intentional about making change can spur that moment where they realize I've got to be, in time, intentional again about the change in my own life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's the most important part is well, I think that our whole world is missing encouragement. You know, social media makes you feel incompetent because if you're watching everybody's highlight reel, you don't get a chance to see their struggles. You just see the highlight reel and we get this. Especially the kids today are getting a false sense of what it takes to be great and they don't see the pain and the grit and the grind of having to get to that place it just looks like it just happened, like in a minute and to be able to be a part of something that we need.
Speaker 2:Our whole country, probably the whole world, needs to be grounded back into the fundamentals of what life is really like. Putting in the work yeah, putting in the work, that's right, you got to take action. And a lot of what life is really like. Putting in the work yeah, putting in the work, that's right, you got to take action. And a lot of people are struggling with taking action because they're afraid to fail, but they don't realize that you actually the only way that you ever have accomplishment is by overcoming struggle. Yeah, and people forget that all over their greatest memories is because they overcame something. And as soon as the people understand that you should be walking into the storms of life, not running from the storms. It's because, when you walk into them and you face them, the accomplishment that you feel about yourself, no matter how great of an outcome it was, you're ready for the next challenge because you've created a habit of walking into the storm, and that's a very important concept to me to pass on to people.
Speaker 1:No, that's great and you know we didn't talk about that prior to, but I love that that's where you went with this, because that's really kind of the spirit of the charge forward podcast is people that default to charging forward when they get knocked down, versus those that give up or quit.
Speaker 2:Man they talk about. Probably one of the most critical, intangible pieces of somebody that you want in your life is the person who doesn't give up, the person that keeps fighting and giving up and not to keep fighting. That can be interesting, depending on how somebody wants to look at that word, because sometimes if you end a relationship, it's not quitting, it's moving forward. Right, and you have to accept that. There are some people in your life that are here for chapters and there's some people that are here for volumes, and some people are here for your entire life.
Speaker 2:Sure, right, you just have to get really good at deciding who's a chapter, who's a volume and who's an entirety, and each particular one ultimately ends up shaping you into who you're going to be. So it not be judgmental about a relationship that comes and goes, but to use it as a stepping stone for the next place that you're trying to go, or where God has got your hand in taking you. You had to experience that he doesn't make any mistakes. That's right, right. So, even though it feels painful that this person is no longer in your life, one way or the other you had to go through that, because the next one is going to be more impactful and anything that you gleaned from the previous allows you to be more successful in the future, and that's really what it takes to be great at anything you do.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think it's. I know it's overused, it's a cliche, but it goes back to that. The mentality of things aren't happening to me, they're happening for me, and even the tough stuff, even the things you got to work through, they're the things that create those moments that you, that you remember for the rest of your life, those moments that you remember for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's just a mental switch. It really is. And I think mentors people like it's so important to have for me I want to surround myself with people that are either older than me or in the place that I'm trying to be, because they had to go through what I'm going through and they have things to offer. And when you hear other people's struggles and they're at the place you want to be and you don't you don't realize all the pain that they went through to get to that place Then you realize that what you're going through is the process of what it takes, Not like I got feet on my head, nobody wants me to rise. It's like, oh, this is what it takes to be great. This level of perseverance, this level of grit, this level of resiliency. Those things are oftentimes easier to hear from a person much older than you or somebody that's in the place you're trying to go, because you're like, oh wow, so it wasn't that easy for you either, right Cause you make it look easy.
Speaker 1:Well, I, I tell my son, I tell my wife all the time, anybody can make it look hard. Yeah, you gotta be good to make it look easy. And it takes a lot of effort, it takes a lot of practice putting in those reps. I mean, whether we're talking about Michael Jordan or whoever out there. They could make it look hard but they made it look easy and that inspires people, yeah. But then when you're like you said, when you're walking through that process and you're thinking about giving up or you're thinking I'm not in the right place, or I mean even let's just say you're in a store and you don't know if you're in the right line or not, I mean even let's just say you're in a store and you don't know if you're in the right line or not, sometimes you just need that confirmation that you are where you're supposed to be in the process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think one of the most important things I try to pass on to people is that we all move in from phases of we hope we can do it to we believe we can do it, until we know we can do it Right. So hoping that you can do it means that you tried something that you really enjoyed. Oh, that was fun. I'd like to get better at that. So you get instruction, or you get lessons guitar, golf, whatever, makes no difference and then you get to the point where you learn how to do it right. When you learn how to do it right, you can believe that you can do it. And there are some people that can win from the belief place. But when you've practiced it so much until you can't do it wrong, that's when you know, that's when you make it look easy, Right. And that is the process that I try to paint for people, which is you move from my hope to I believe, to I know. And when you know it's really difficult to be stopped. But if you're just a believer and you don't know, you can be knocked off the tracks.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and I think that's I mean kind of taking that a little bit of a different direction. I think it's why it's so critical that we give our kids a firm foundation of who they are, you know, and allow them to kind of feel that out and understand why they are who they are, why they believe what they believe, so that they're not easily swayed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I think cultivating a situation where you allow them to struggle and don't be a lawnmower, don't clear the path for them, is that that's very tempting because we don't want it set first. It seems like it's good, we're going to benefit them if they never lose, they never struggle, they never feel pain, but in all actuality, we're really cheating them. What it takes to get to the top and to me that's one of the hardest places of parenting or mentoring is that sometimes you have to let them fail, yeah, and, but you got to be able to be there like a rock while watching them fail, and that's probably the most brutal thing in the world. But you're cheating your kids If you intervene.
Speaker 1:I think, intervene. I think it parallels another. I think this is a Jordan Peterson line and he says as a parent, it is our job to encourage our kids to do not difficult but dangerous things safely. Yes, and I think the same thing is true whether it's sports or whatever kind of thing that they're beating their head against to try to get through. We need to let them go through that struggle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they figure out who they are 100%, and that's really, that's a lost art, because and I think one of the things that we're currently coping with is our generation, and if it wasn't the greatest generation, it's the second greatest generation, yeah, and possibly the wealthiest kids generation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, because maybe the baby boomers, the baby boomers, are the greatest generation and they built the wealth, but they didn't have the wealth. But now they, they want to make, they want to have, they wanted to have us experience the life that they couldn't have when they were a kid. And in some ways, and then I would think our generation has then doubled down on that to make things easier, when, in all actuality, while thinking that we were making it easier and better, we've actually made it more difficult. And the first mega dose of adversity when they've been, you know, lawn mode all the way through, they don't know how to get up off the floor when they get knocked down because they never had to face it right. And I think we're paying the price.
Speaker 2:We're paying the price for that in a variety of ways.
Speaker 2:It's not always sport and it's not always music, it's not always education, but there are, right now we're in a, we're kind of in a a syndrome, a countrywide syndrome of having a hard time getting up off the mat when we get kicked Right, and I think that we're staring at a pretty unique time.
Speaker 2:Uh, in the immediate future, I'm not quite sure when this is going to come out, but it's going to be just before the election or just after the election, and we expect something to be a little less than stellar in that moment, and I don't think many people have experienced that level of confusion and chaos, and it's going to be interesting to see how what I think is a fear-based world handles chaos, difficulty, sure, and that's that's to me. We've got a lot of things on our plate in the world we have today. We have a lot of great things, greater than ever in many ways, but at the end of the day, god doesn't uh, doesn't paint a rosy picture every day that's right and it's going to be interesting to see how we come out of this.
Speaker 2:But either way, whether they don't handle it well or they do handle it well, life is never going to stop. So if you aren't prepared, you will be forced to prepare. Yeah, you got to be adaptable. Yeah, that's right. So if you're like, one of the easiest things for me to pass on is like forced change is easier than change because you don't have a choice, that's right. So, like during COVID, a lot of things changed because we didn't have a choice, that's right. So, like during COVID, a lot of things changed because we didn't have a choice. So people adapted due to force and a lot of people came out massively positive in that situation.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. But if you find out, you know what you really need to watch how much you eat back off the ice cream. We're gonna have to wake up at six, three times a week to work out. If that's not forced on you, that's hard to pull the trigger, yeah. But if it's mandated well, then all kinds of good things happen and it's interesting. So, like change is is a funny thing, but when it's forced on you, it's amazing what happens, oh yeah well, you know, and it goes back to the old analogy of just you know, people resisted to change.
Speaker 1:Nobody likes change, or however however they want to say it, that's true. But you know there's there's good on the other side of change, Absolutely so you know like adaptability to me is is one of the most important words.
Speaker 2:You know that's part of what I talked about in my TED talk. That's right. And you know Mike Tyson talked about it and really it's one of the greatest lines of all time. Really. You know, when he was getting ready he was at the top of the world. He wasn't the heavyweight champion of the world yet, but everybody knew he was the heavyweight champion of the world. It was just an inevitable weapon that Trevor Burbick was going to take Right. And Burbick goes out there on the on the press table and says that he's got a game plan to knock Tyson out in the fifth round. And and Mike is out there up there and Mike's introverted and kind of shy and but an animal you know and you know.
Speaker 2:Hey, mike, you know Trevor's got a game plan. So he's got a game plan to knock you out by the fifth round. What do you got to say about that? And he's like everybody's got a game plan. I'm like Tyson pointed them in the face Right. Well, at the end of the day, our struggles that we face in life, sometimes they feel like Mike Tyson in 1986.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. And if you aren't adaptable to the forces, because no matter what you're trying to achieve and accomplish the counter of that, whether it's a company that you're trying to move past in earnings or something you're trying to take over, you're trying to beat this person at a sport. You know that person, that company, they don't want to lose either. So you're finding their weak spot, but they're finding your weak spot and it's like how do I adapt to what they're trying to do to me? And then try to take advantage of that, and the person who has the most iterations of adaptability prior to the competition, the conflict almost always, almost always is the winner.
Speaker 2:And that's why I put that in my TED talk. It's so important to not just train with your best game plan in mind, right, with your best game plan in mind, right, because, at the end of the day, anybody that you're trying to overtake in business, life, sport, whatever they don't want to lose either. Right, and Mike Tyson didn't want to lose and Trevor Burbick didn't want to lose, but Trevor Burbick only had one plan and it did not work out very well. And, at the end of the day, if you want to be great, the most iterations of adaptability that you can have in your repertoire the better off you're going to be.
Speaker 1:Well, it's one of the reasons selfishly I like data so much, because if you are constantly adapting because of the data, then you get in that mode where you don't I'm not going to say you don't have a game plan. We know what direction we're headed in, but we are not necessarily as concerned with the path that we have to take, and so we're just constantly adapting, if we're adjusting to those data points. And then there's some industries where it's just on feel until you get enough data. And to me, that's where I struggle and I tell people all the time as a business coach, I'm not a business coach for startups and it's because they haven't figured out how to win yet. If you haven't figured out how to win yet, I'm not your guy. I'm. I'm not out here pointing the dark, but at the same time, if you figured out how to how your business wins, then I can help you throw some you know jet fuel on it. Yeah, and so it's just. It's just different coaches for different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that that's one of the things I always try to pass on to people is that just because you're an introductory coach, you help people get into something, doesn't make you less important than the person who's coaching. The elite Just know your lane, what are you really good at? And just because you're good at one thing and you're not good at the other, it doesn't make you a failure, right? But, man, there are some people like in my world, in the golf instruction world, there are people that are so good at getting kids and women and men that are scared to get involved in the game because it's difficult. They're so good at encouraging and getting people into it and enjoying it, but they feel like they don't get the recognition because they're not teaching tour players. So when I take the stage and oftentimes I get pigeonholed into these conversations in which I'm the golf the, the swing guru, and I'm like, well, I don't know if I want to say that this is makes me more important, right, because the I wouldn't have anybody to teach if there wasn't somebody at the ground, roots level introducing the game and making it fun and encouraging people, because golf has a pretty steep entry. It's pretty hard at the very beginning, right, and they help navigate that. They are so valuable to me that I would be I would be so amiss to not recognize the greatness of the introductory entry level coaches, because for every thousand people that they bring into the game, 60 of them maybe end up trying to see how good they can get. That's my niche, so I'm able to help those people cross the bridge of dreams. But I wouldn't have any of them if it weren't for the people that were building the, the grassroots of golf in the industry of golf. So I just think that a lot of people get wrapped up in the greatest of the great instead of being as great as they can be at what they're great at right. Use the, use the gift that god gave you. We all have different traits, we all have different skill sets, and it doesn't make anybody better than anybody else, right, and that's what. That's the one of the most important things I talk about when I'm going to colleges and speaking is like I mean, just because you're the going to be the, the CEO of the software company that changes the world, and you're going to be the person that sells the phone that has the app that I designed doesn't make you less important than that guy. That's right, because we're all here to thrive. We can all thrive.
Speaker 2:But it's largely attitude about ourselves. That's the limit, it's not the others. It's actually what we believe about ourself. The self-image is our handicap in life and that's one of the most important things for people to hear from me is that your self-image is all that God gave you, minus the interference you put in yourself. So God's gifts, minus the interference, equals who you actually are Right. So we can delete interference to maximize the best version of you. But it's stifling when you're helping. I'm sure you do it when you do business coaching right. How many things are interfering with the mission? That shouldn't be, because they put a little too much importance on what they're not instead of what they are. That's right.
Speaker 1:Or they've just created it out of thin air. You know, uh, or you know the other thing that, uh, I see people chase, sometimes too in a good way or a bad way is, you know, let's just say we're in our lane and this is how we've been doing business. And you know, some people get stuck in that old analogy of well, you know, we do it this way because we've always done it this way, but then some people will chase a squirrel. That was just an anomaly. You know, it's not in the norm. And you know, if you get several of those, okay, well, maybe we do a fact finding mission to figure out if that's a viable path or not. But sometimes they'll course correct on something that was just an anomaly, that really didn't matter at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we're seeing that play out in the good and the bad. We'll use the music industry and the magazine industry right. The music industry with Napster, the downloads, the free downloads, and then couldn't figure out how the artist had a hard time making money. As soon as CDs went away and everything went digital, they're navigating that. The magazine world did not adapt fast enough to how things changed and literally almost every great magazine is gone, gone, and it's so hard to believe. And the ones that are still alive?
Speaker 2:I mean, when I was a kid, golf digest was like that thick and now it's like seven it's like 19 pages of information and 17 pages of blown up advertising, sure, so I mean, at the end of the day, there's a perfect example of some people.
Speaker 2:This is how we do it and this is how we're always going to do it and they get run over, and then other people, they change, and then well then, well, that didn't work, but let's keep changing and let's keep until we find something sure, and that's the, and they still.
Speaker 2:I don't think the music industry has completely figured it out, but they're not where they were right, you know, they're starting to figure out how this whole spotify, itunes, how to maximize their profits and people are getting on. Youtube has become also a major player in the music world, sure, and so, like, I love listening to stories and how certain artists have used YouTube before they entered into the Spotify world, and they have a much more power when it comes to what they can get off every download versus somebody that comes up through an agency, and now they have all this money that they owe back to the, to the agency. It's a pretty interesting thing, and I've had in my podcast, I've interviewed a handful of musicians that have come out on the on the sunny side of that and some that haven't, and it's a very interesting story Very interesting story.
Speaker 1:Well, and due to contract links and terms and all those things, it's kind of one of those moves If you make the wrong move it can be crippling for a long time. A hundred percent. Yeah, Circling back to your podcast, so you know you've got what over a hundred episodes of the one you did jointly on the book with Drew Maddox, drew Maddox yeah, elevated.
Speaker 2:So we did 100. We did so. We wrote two books. Each book had 50 chapters, okay, and we just chose 50 words of encouragement. And then that was elevated. And then during the pandemic, we wrote excavated, because people need to be not lifted, they need to be dug out of the hole that they were in, absolutely. So they were bigger, more powerful words. So we had a hundred chapters and then we did the last one, we kind of culminated an entire. So we had 101 episodes of elevated, and that's until we write another book that's currently shelved and I I believe my 190th episode of on the verge will come out on Friday.
Speaker 2:I love it. So that's the more of like a a Rogan ask hour and a half two hour long deep dive into somebody's greatness. Yeah and um, it's been. It's been awesome for me. I would say I did not. I started my podcast to help others and with my platform cause. I was on radio for 20 years to encourage other, give other people platforms to be great, and all they ended up doing was when I'm hearing stories of other people's greatness, it's just things I can put in my front pocket and made me better and I literally, it's my favorite thing to do. If I could ever figure out how to make as much money as I do coaching golf, I might not teach golf, I might just do podcasts. I love it that much.
Speaker 1:It is incredibly fun just because you're growing while you're, while you're letting somebody else tell their story. Yeah, and you know, similar to your podcast it's the spirit of mine too is I? There are just so many amazing people in this world that you you pass, whether it's on the sidewalk or you know, uh, at your, at your kid's school or whatever you have no idea what kind of treasure they're holding, that they've been through it or they've got this powerful story to tell and I wanted people to be able to tell their story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that many people out there don't think that they have a story to tell, right, so much. And in some ways I love. I mean I've done a couple this year in which, when I was, I asked them to come on, like well, I'm not going to be a good podcast. I was. I asked them to come on, look, well, I'm not going to be a good podcast. And then I interview them and they're like it was an incredible episode and they're like I didn't even know that I could be interesting and I'm like that's such a shame. Self-image right. It's like that's such a shame. And then to be able to impact people like that is so powerful. And that's the thing maybe I'm addicted to. I'm a coach, so anything that I can do that shows somebody that they're better than they thought they were. The feeling that I get from helping is so overwhelmingly joyful. It circumvents my desire to be great at something by myself.
Speaker 1:Right, it's selfish. I selfishly want to help you be awesome because of the way it makes me feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100% yeah.
Speaker 1:No, it's great. And you know, I just recently actually, my last guests, um, they, they did not want to do it. They were very reluctant to come on and I had never experienced this before. They had done a podcast where it was a gotcha. They were trying to embarrass them and then try to sell them the fix, and so I had to break down that barrier. I was like, look, I share the questions with you and then you can take questions off, you can add questions on. This is about telling your story, and it took me a couple of weeks to get them around the corner of that bad experience and I was just floored. I didn't know that. That was that. That scene was out there.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a sick person, it was. I mean, that's terrible.
Speaker 1:And then to try to sell somebody. That again the whole thing was just ugly and uh, they came in here and I mean it was a fantastic time. I can't wait to share that episode, but it was. They went from absolutely not to. I think they were excited when they left here.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what it's all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now you've spent a long time coaching and both you know private school and then private lessons and all the way to the highest level. What gets you excited about the future of coaching in?
Speaker 2:your world. Well, I think what most people don't understand about me is that I get labeled as the swing guru, the swing coach. And yeah, okay, I know a lot about the golf swing. But you see, nobody can perform at the highest level if they don't have control of their mind and if they don't have an understanding of how muscle memory, how every swing that you've ever made, is stored in the black box and when you call upon yourself to hit that shot, the basal ganglia inside the cerebellum fires off. You know the, the impulse to the muscles, right? Well, if you're in the right brain, you're in a concept-visualized world. It's a straight shot from the basal ganglia to your muscles. But if you're trying to be perfect or if you're mechanically driven to try to feel a position out of your hands or your feet or something like that, that engages the prefrontal cortex and the prefrontal cortex tries to perfect it, so fine tooth combs the information coming from the brain to the muscles. That slows it down tremendously. So when people choke or people underperform under pressure is they're trying too hard to be perfect.
Speaker 2:And my job that I love the most is I love coaching people to understand how the brain can be their greatest advantage or it could be their greatest disadvantage, but it's never neutral. So my job I do a lot of mental coaching within the swing coaching because, at the end of the day, my job is to get you to create an environment of immersive presence that you're here right now, you don't, you can't do anything about the shot you just hit and you can't do anything about the whole year about ready to play. The only shot you have that's right here is right now, and it's really hard for people. Most golfers are anxious minded, which means they get ahead of themselves, they're worried about what's about to happen in the next hole. Or there's some, but not many great players that get hacked off about a bad shot that they just hit, Occasionally, especially if it's a debilitating one, coming down the stretch of a major championship Sure, Maybe, but not very often. But I always say it like this you can't rewind the tape and you can't press fast forward either, so you might as well just press play, Be real good at being where your feet are and if you can create the environment of presence, that is the first fundamental of flow state slash zone.
Speaker 2:State is presence. So how do I train you to be present that allows you to create visualizations of what it is that you're desiring to do. And then you have timeframes of rehearsals and walk-ins that allow you to be as efficient as you can possibly be, transferring a visualized rehearsal feel into action. And then, if you do that in the right way and you're in your right brain, when it doesn't work out, you're not emotionally attached to the outcome. You're like well, that's not what I was intending to do. What did I feel there?
Speaker 2:You don't get emotionally involved and, just like everything in life, every, most every bad decision we've ever made in our life is emotional driven. We make it out of our emotional mind. My job in this, in this sport, similar to martial arts, is I have to keep you present and I got to keep you emotionally disengaged, Because as soon as your emotions get involved, most of the time in golf it's negative. It's anger, frustration, sadness, so to speak. But occasionally one of the hardest shots to hit is one right after you have a hole-in-one. It's a very difficult shot to hit after you've made a hole-in-one because it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You never think you're going to do it, and then there's a big celebration. It's a huge deal, and now you still got holes. To play, yeah, and to be able to pull yourself back is not easy.
Speaker 2:So I just use those things to help people remind themselves that, yes, it's we. We sit in amazement and watching tiger or Rory or Jack in his prime or Michael Jordan or you know anybody who's technically so brilliant. We think it's technique when in all actuality they are so mentally ahead of their competition and people can't believe that. And it's, ultimately I am. What I feel like I have become is I have become the person who stops people from jumping off the ledge because they're about ready to quit, because they don't think that they can do it. And those are the coolest ones because they they thought that it was only technique. And those are the easiest ones to fix because when they already have the technique and it's actually their brain that's not allowing them to perform, those are easy fixes and they're the most enjoyable for me because they're I've literally taken somebody who's ready to quit and has no hope into quickly moving from hope, believe to know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cause they already, they just didn't know that they already knew.
Speaker 1:So I love that that mirrors business coaching so much and that my favorite thing is when I go in and somebody is ready to sell, you know, so I'm there to help them package up and find a buyer and they fall in love with the business Again. We after we, we break down some things that are going wrong, help them fix, you know, put a couple procedures in place, figure out how we don't let that happen again, and then they remember why they loved getting into this business to start with, and that's so kind of the same thing. I love it when that happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the biggest win. That is the biggest win for sure. No doubt about it.
Speaker 1:Now, along the way, I know you've served as a mentor to a lot of people. Who's mentored you?
Speaker 2:So I'll say like I'll do it in order. There's no doubt that the most important person in my life was my dad. My dad was my first coach in everything that I did up till golf. He was my first coach in everything that I did up till golf. He was my biggest supporter and you know my dad's not in good health right now and you know this is. You know he gets a chance to hear this. He said like these are the things that keep people, give them a reason to keep going Right. So my dad was my coach in baseball, basketball. You know he was involved in everything that I did. And then I got fortunate enough that my first golf mentor was Bill Strasbaugh. So Bill Strasbaugh is the only PGA professional to have ever won every major award. So Bill Strasbaugh, the final, the fifth award of the PGA is the Bill Strasbaugh award. So that was my mentor. So he's the 1992 national teacher of the year. So I'm I graduated in 97. So at his absolute peak of his greatness, he was my mentor.
Speaker 2:Amazing so he paved a massive street for me. He introduced me to Jim McLean and Carl Lauren. They both didn't have that long of a stint with me, but they both were very impressionable of. They both told me that, even though I had a lot of talent, it struck them that I was more interested in helping others than to be selfishly driven to elevate myself. And then they both helped me navigate the transition from thinking that I could play to being the coach that I am today. And then I have a host of friends who've helped me through a lot of the dark moments of my life. So many to name, but I mean they know who. They are Sure, and. But the life is life is all about mentors and people that are there for you. But I, there's no doubt that I wouldn't be where I am today without my dad literally pouring thousands of gallons of love and belief into me when I was a little kid, all the way up until I was in college.
Speaker 1:I love it and you know very similar in that regard, my dad, obviously my biggest fan throughout my entire life. So many great moments and he too is know challenging health at the moment. Um, what is your favorite memory spending with your dad?
Speaker 2:man there's so many, um, man, uh, I would say a couple. They're easy to kind of say. The first time I was a before I was a golfer I was a pitcher. I tore my rotator cuff twice, I threw a no hitter when my dad was the coach and it was one of the greatest games that I ever. I ever played, both as a hitter and as a pitcher, and that was big.
Speaker 2:But another thing that we shared that my dad has put into my life, that is, it can't leave is that when I was a kid we used to go see Penn state football games in a big RV and we'd go up with friends and the first game that I went to go see was when Penn state played Boston college with Doug Flutie and it was the first night game at Penn state and it was a big deal. You know he's the win, the Heisman Trophy. It's late in the season, it's freezing cold, and to be able to do something when you're I was 11. It may have actually been for my 12th birthday to go see the Boston College game, to be around adults who love something so and I've never seen anything like Beaver Stadium. You know it's 117,000, right, just the experience. It's so overwhelming.
Speaker 2:And then it was a great game, penn State won. Everybody's going crazy. And then to see the joy that college athletics brings to people and how my dad it was the most joy-filled moment at that point in my life and I had never felt anything like it before, and it's something I'll never forget was that day Cause it was. It was like nine degrees. It was so cold and I'm 11 or 12. I'm freezing my butt off, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter, it was the best, and I'll never forget that. That was really a powerful moment.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. I love it, man. I think your parents and I know people know that your parents are important to who you end up becoming. But it's those moments that never leave your thought, it's those moments that are always there, that you can pull joy from that, you can pull confidence from that, you can pull that somebody believed in you. You know, I my heart hurts for anybody that doesn't have a parent that has that ability or does that. I think we're just incredibly fortunate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's interesting you say that because you know, oftentimes people ask me a question similar to that, and obviously my dad's been a huge role, but one of the things my mom taught me question similar to that, and obviously my dad's been a huge role, but one of the things my mom taught me, my mom is the most forgiving person in the world, and if there is an art form that is really difficult to must to master, absolutely it's forgiveness, and most people think that it's the hardest thing to do is forgive others that have wronged you, but in my opinion, the hardest thing to do is forgive yourself, and my mom is the beacon, she's the light of forgiveness in many people's world, and how my mom demonstrates that every day is a level of encouragement to me, because nobody's perfect, but oftentimes when we do our very best and fail, we beat ourself up.
Speaker 2:Our self-talk is so detrimental and I'm guilty as charged. I don't like failing, nobody likes failing, but my mom is able to shift from I wish I hadn't done that to she can forgive, she forgives others and she forgives herself at a level that's so impressive that that's something I've constantly strived to get close to. I'll probably never be as great at it as she is, but she's certainly a great role model of forgiveness. I love it.
Speaker 1:Now I know with my dad, my dad has evolved. I mean I think of my dad when I was a kid and then kind of as a young adult and then what he's evolved into today. And I think that's different for different parents. Mine is, I mean, his core is the same but he just gets better and better and better at tackling new things. Is that? Is it similar? Or you know, your parents kind of been steady Freddie, and they've always been who they are, or what does that look like in your world?
Speaker 2:They have pretty much remained. You know, steak and potatoes, yeah, you know, they haven't varied much. I would probably say I haven't been home much since I graduated high school.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I'm from, you know, a small in PA just south of Gettysburg, and I went to Mississippi State. And then I never, because you had to stay in school. So when I wasn't going to school I was doing internships at golf courses. So for five straight years, outside of Christmas and maybe two Thanksgivings, I never went home because I had to stay. I'd either be at state or I'd be at a golf course working. And then I graduated and the job that I ended up getting was here in Nashville and I've not left, because when you're a young entrepreneur and I started my own business in 2001. I graduated in 97.
Speaker 2:So only four years into, just out of college, I'm my own company. Well, when you're in your own company, there's no salary and benefits. So if I'm taking a week off, that's $0.00 coming in and not that that's an excuse. But I was brought up to be great. My dad instilled the the fundamentals of what it takes to be great at something, so I felt like I was letting them down if I was not doing what I was taught to do. That's right. So in many ways I didn't get a chance to go home much, so I didn't get a chance to see much of any possible evolution, but how they've always been to me has never changed, that's awesome, and so I guess, what do you take from that that you've tried to make sure that you are for your sons?
Speaker 2:Well, I can tell you that what my dad was to me was the was my hero right A thousand percent.
Speaker 2:So what could I cause? Here's the thing. This is what people need to understand about life. It's like not only do you do I want to be what my dad was to me, but I also have my own life experiences. So I mean and this is what my dad would want my dad would want me to be better at being a dad than he was to me. Well, how do you do that? You take all the great things that your dad was to you. Multiply that by all the great things that you've watched, learned and been through, so that what you pour into your own kids is the best version of yourself, which should be greater than what your dad did, because you have way more education. You've been through way more things, right, you have his experiences plus your experiences.
Speaker 2:So all I try to do is every day act as if I'm their hero, and I can't let them down. Heroes, don't let people down. Now is it inevitable that nobody's perfect, right, but every day I wake up and I feel like I put my cape on because I have to show up every day for my kids and it's the greatest gift that I have in my life, which is my boys still think I'm a pretty cool guy, and that's all that anybody can ever ask for is to be like. My kids can't wait to play golf with their dad after work. They'll wait for me to play instead of go play with their friends. That doesn't happen very often. That's awesome man.
Speaker 1:Way to go. I love it. Yeah, I think we are just incredibly fortunate to have had similar experiences in our, our dads. Not that our moms are not fantastic, but her dad's really been our hero because I'm I'm the same way.
Speaker 2:It's probably one of the most for anybody that doesn't have that in their life. One I'm. I'm sorry, but at the end of the day, that's why there's mentors, too, right, and I do know many people that either didn't have a dad for one reason or another, but their mentor became that figure and they were benefited as if. And that's where attitude becomes a really important part of life is that if you get wallowed down into the mud of what isn't, you miss him. What is that's right? And so pay real close attention to where your mind is when you're struggling, because if you take the opposite approach of what you're thinking at the moment, it could change your life forever.
Speaker 1:Well, and, you know, be very mindful of who you let into your space, who, who that you might allow to mentor you positively or negatively. Yeah, you know, um, I know you. You know, one of my favorite mentors on this planet is Kate McGlasson. Yeah, she is outstanding, she is unbelievable. And I will tell you if, if it wasn't for her, I would not have gone down this path. I wouldn't be sitting in the studio with you on a podcast, I wouldn't have gone down this path. I wouldn't be sitting in the studio with you on a podcast. I wouldn't have been the leader and the mentor that I was. I wouldn't have had the passion for, for helping other people without her, yeah, yeah, obviously.
Speaker 2:I knew her when I was at Innsworth and she was a such a positive vibe. She gets it like that A lot of the best. That's one of the greatest things that you could ever be have said about you. And when you're in an endeavor and somebody who witnesses you in your endeavor says she, he gets it. Yeah, because she can show up in a variety of ways. She's malleable in her leadership style, because I always say it like this Sometimes you need Oprah, sometimes you need Oprah, sometimes you need Dr Phil, and sometimes you need Bobby Knight or David Goggins, right, so she's really good. Everybody would like to start at being Oprah that cajoling, hugging on you, loving on you. Sometimes you need Dr Phil, though. You need a little swift kick, get your act together, and other times you need a little bit more forceful approach. But a great coach can be any of them.
Speaker 2:If you're a one trick pony, you're limited Right, and Kate McLaughlin she has that. She has the ability to be whoever she needs to be in the moment to help you get to where you're supposed to get. Yeah, that's a, that's a talent.
Speaker 1:She, she in the moment to help you get to where you're supposed to get. Yeah, that's a, that's a talent. She charges forward into people's lives. She doesn't mind having that tough conversation in whichever way that that needs to be had, whereas other people, for really just trying to save themselves, will skirt the issue or try to brush over it. I love that she. She really does just take it on head first. 100% Superwoman. Love that, love her. She's fantastic.
Speaker 1:It's the reason that my son we're quite a ways away from Innsworth but, we do the summer camps there and that kind of thing, just because I know that for my son to be the best version of himself, he needs some Kate McGlashan in his world too, 100%. So, um, now doing a Ted talk, especially the first PGA, uh, professional to do a Ted talk, you know you're not just stepping outside of your norm, but you're stepping outside of what has been done. Yeah, so what was the catalyst for that? I mean, obviously I was there, it was, you did a great job. Thank you, catalyst for that. I mean, obviously I was there, it was, you did a great job. Thank you, um. And you know, obviously it's shaped a lot of things since.
Speaker 2:so if you will just kind of walk us through that process, I would say the first thing that started was I watched john wooden's ted talk and there are a lot of great coaches out there and we could argue is nick saban? Is it coach k? And we could argue is Nick Saban? Is it Coach K? Is it whoever? Belichick, whatever? I don't know if there's anybody that's ever been greater than John Wooden, and the way he spoke and the care in which he spoke and the way he delivered hard messages easily, that's how I like to coach and he really resonated with me.
Speaker 2:So when he's he's so old and he's sitting in a wheelchair and there's not many years left in his life, and he is literally spitting one gold gem after another gold gem, and I'm thinking to myself I will, I'm going to do that one day.
Speaker 2:That's like 13 years later, 14 years later, I just applied and I got a phone call on a March morning saying congratulations, you've been, you've been selected to to do your talk. And then I had this idea, which is I was going through some really, really tough times and really tough times and I had to do something that was bigger than golf. I had to do something that was bigger than what I'm known for, bigger than you, bigger than me, right? So I'm like going what do I do? That's pretty natural Because I'm going to be speaking at the biggest stage that there really is. Yeah, that's pretty natural because I'm going to be speaking at the biggest stage that there really is. What can I talk on? That is easy enough that I can just flow, but yet the message is something nobody would expect to hear from me. I am a human navigating myself through a world, challenging myself to be the best that I can be, not knowing what that actually is Doing a TED.
Speaker 1:Talk, especially the first PGA professional to do a TED Talk.
Speaker 2:Tony Robbins I've never met the guy, but Tony Robbins means the world to me because of how much his message has shaped who I am. It is empirically your job to keep the person you love going in the right direction. As of right now this show, I've helped 259 kids get a golf scholarship. One of them has won on the PGA Tour Brant Snedeker. He's been a very successful PGA Tour player, but I have taught two people that use golf for business that have made more money using golf in their business than Brant made playing on the tour. This is possibly one of the most important things I heard this year.
Speaker 1:They're teaching these things that they need to hone in that will improve their life in and outside of the sport.
Speaker 2:I'm a fan of Tiger as it pertains to what he has done for the game. Then I had this idea, which is I was going through some really, really tough times, and really tough times. I had to do something that was bigger than golf. The reason why golf's never going to go anywhere is because I want to be remembered as the greatest dad that they could have ever asked for. At the end of the day, life is about convenience.